Imagine signing grown-up documents with Roseanne Roseannadanna. I wanted to kill my dad.
40% of people don't take you seriously when you have curly hair. 98% of people don't take you seriously when you have a name like a child's storybook icon.
But, here we are. We can cry, or we can put on our unicorn costume and scare people.
I intend to make my best entries public, but I need to get out of this getup before I reinstall LJArchive and comb through my hilarious anecdotes. You know. Maids discovering dildos. Ghost stories. Family antics with the legal action bits cut out. Typical sitcom material.
I'm afraid it may be too late to avoid offending people. I am a sad fauxicorn.
You don't have to ask if you want to friend me.
I lost whatever dignity I had when I became Samantha Kamantha in the Unicorn Suit.
I realize, after friending like 75 people, that it might have been rude to do so without asking. Honestly, I didn't think it would be, since I can't see your journals until you friend me back. It's literally just giving you the keys to -my- place.
I'm sorry if I offended you. Feel free to ask me to unfriend you.
Again, may take me a minute to unfriend you. This suit is really complicated.